People with depression are great pretenders! We can leave home with a big smile in our faces, perfect make up, looking healthy and refreshed and can easily be mistaken by the happiest people on Earth. Sometimes, we feel some miserable inside and are so concerned in concealing it…that we over do it! We smile too much, we speak too much and finally when we get home and close the door behind us…we are exhausted of being that “other happy person, just wanting to crawl in bed and “die” until the next morning.
Many will tell you that it is a way of hiding the disease from their employers, friends and family, others are in denial and are trying to convince themselves, other…are just in survival mode. Whatever the reasons are to wear this mask the truth is that many of us do it, and very successfully, turning the “smiling depression” into one of the most dangerous ones.
We go so far in trying to hide it that I remember seeing my current therapist for the first time and telling her about my feelings with tears pouring down my face…while my slips were still smiling! Sad isn’t it?
Well sufferers of this strange form of depression never miss a day of work, never admit being too tired, too sick, find excuses to avoid social contact and put an enormous amount of pressure on themselves. The fatigue that results from this lifestyle can only be solved with endless hours of sleep during evenings and weekends, when we allegedly went “traveling” or to the “cinema”. My phone is often…”broken” or in silence. I have done my 10 hours of “pretending to be my happy me” in the office so now I just want to be my sleepy and unhappy me.
Sleeping has since very early (and for various reasons, which I will tell you about later) became my favorite coping mechanism….what is yours?and by the way do you know anyone who could suffer from “Smiling depression”? Tell me about him/her.
Sweet dreams everyone….
The Forest of Lost Souls 