Treatment resistant depression


Things that I have tried before:

Seroxat (Paroxetine) – Didn’t work
Celexa (Citalopram) – Didn’t work
Prozac (Fluoxetine) – pooped out
Zyban (Bupropion, low dose) – Didn’t work
Wellbutrin (Bupropion) – Didn’t work, only made me angry
Effexor (Venlafaxin) – Mild effect in mood improvement, zero improvement of fatigue
Modafinil (Provigil) – Did wonders for my excruciating fatigue, until…it pooped out shortly after
Caffein – Gives me 30 minutes of totally artificial energy, enough to crawl out of bed. But also increases anxiety…
Yoga, osteopathy, therapy- no noticeable effect

I guess this (above) is why they call it “treatment resistant”, right?!

I am currently stuck with:

225mg/day Venlafaxin/Effexor, 100-200mg/day Modafinil, 200mg+/day Caffeine

9 hours of sleep per night

and this is the minimum to be able to start working in the morning and yet the brain fog never lifts. Although my mood is slightly better I still feel an immense weight over my shoulders and all I think about is running home and hiding in bed.
Some days I think that this can’t be “it”, there must be something else out there to help me. Yet the only perspectives that are still left are:

Electro-convulsive therapy (ECT)
Transcranial magnetic stimulation

which are, as far as I know, not compatible with an active professional life.
So I am still hanging in here, waiting for better days to come…I hope I have the strength it takes to carry on, in case they never do.

Any suggestions?


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